How to enjoy life while slouched...
Sometimes, late at night while watching movies and everything is going good, you find yourself consumed with the urge to better yourself. That subconscious voice that pushes you to be better seems louder at those oh-so-calm moments. The unfinished(probably not started in your case) projects, the new hobbies, the childhood fantasies, the books you said you’d read for months now, the mess you’ve been surrounded by for weeks maybe the dirty laundry too, those seem doable and you wonder if only you had done those when you had the chance. If you had done the dishes when you finished eating, you sure would’ve enjoyed your movie more, you wonder. If you had read everyday to bed while you weren’t at your best, you certainly would’ve felt accomplished enough and felt like you deserve the rotting you were in. If the room was clean you’d have no excuses to start your projects you’ve told yourself you were in no head space to do (no matter how unrelated). Every task that makes you feel like you’re not deserving of it would’ve been the fantasies you have in your head for years (fantasies being having a peaceful and non-stressful life). But, the ‘if I had…’s will turn into ‘what-if’s in some years. You’ll find yourself wallowing about the moment you could’ve lived in the moment. You’ll find the days you spent wrapped up in your blanket were those you needed. It’ll be apparent in time that nothing would’ve gone the way you wanted to, but everything will the way it will and you can write the present. You can surely enjoy life while slouched and with painful knees. You can’t however hope for the best while mourning the ‘could’ve been’. Well, I haven’t really figured out the ‘How to’ either but I know to let go is to live, to let things happen is to live, to enjoy life is while in every state of yourself, and to enjoy what can’t be often is to live.